either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
