I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
