seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I supernannyed him into submission
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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