i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
