i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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