I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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