Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
