Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize