last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
