I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I just blew my weed a kiss
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
