Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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