youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i think my mom watched the whole time
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
