i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
