uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
