Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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