For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
