OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize