He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
