I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
