Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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