i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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