Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
