There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
