RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
