pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
We are two peas in an std pod
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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