I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
