never play flip cup with pint glasses
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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