Will you blow on my dice?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
