I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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