I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
