i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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