I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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