just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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