So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
