he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
