You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
