Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
