She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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