Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize