I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
