I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
