I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
