this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
