Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
