operation harelip BJ is a go
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
