No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize