Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
