I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Randomize
