I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
