I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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