Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
