listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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