My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
