pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize