She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
