doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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