i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Randomize