Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
love makes seman taste better
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
