At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
