Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
