I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
mondays should just be called national damage control day
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
