I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
