he thought i was a dude.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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