You're so nebulous sometimes
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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