I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
