oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
