friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
