dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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