ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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