We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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