I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
